Note to all of my readers:: This blog is for me and me only. If you dont like to hear the negative stuff or what happens in my life, please dont read it. There is just a lot of bad stuff that has happened to me lately and hopefully I will start posting some good stuff soon. I hope you all continue to read because this has become one of my new hobbies and a new way to let out my feelings. God bless!!
Well I have challenged myself to lose weight. All I have to say is...O GOOD LORD HELP ME!!! I hate exercising and I really hate watching what I eat. But thats the reason why I am the way I am I guess. I cant use baby fat or divorce anymore because Leyton is now 3 and my divorce will be a year next month. However, I did like those excuses.
So my first goal is to exercise everyday whether its a walk or getting on my stupid elliptical for 5 minutes. I hate that machine. Sometimes I wish it would break so I can just get rid of it. But I guess its working if you are praying every minute for the torture to stop. Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat. Leyton and I will be walking, well me pushing him in his stroller in the mornings and then at night we will go for another walk just for fun so he can walk. Tues and Thurs I'm going to take up running. I started my running today and OMG just kill me now!!! I am NOT a runner and never have been. So needless to say, I didn't last very long but I did it and now I'm sitting here still panting and coughing. I can only imagine what people saw when I ran down the street. I'm sure it was quite entertaining. I'm sure I looked like a troll with headphones and an under armor hat. LOL! O well I wont be that way for long neighbors. :)
My main goals in this is.....
#1. Make a healthier life change for myself and for Leyton. We have a habit of eating out and I don't have the money for it anymore plus its not good. However cooking for Leyton is a nightmare because the kid doesn't like anything. He only wants bologna, mac and cheese, hot dogs, or chicken nuggets. He hates hamburger and I tried to get him to eat pork chops the other night and that was a joke. Last night I made him eat 3 green beans before he could have a fruit smoothie. Keep in mind it took him 3 stinkin hours just to eat the green beans that he actually does love. I have to quit pop too. Lord knows how much I love my Pepsi so I have limited it to one a week on my off day.
#2. Image. I know you shouldn't care what people think of you but I'm not one of those people. I always worry about what people think of me. Sometimes I go broke just getting a new shirt because I hate what I have in my closet. You can only find so much cute stuff in the bigger sections. Plus you find really good deals on the clearance racks when your a size 6 or 8. Bonus...I save money!
#3. Boyfriend. OK, my mom always tells me..."Now, Allison...Men are visual. You are not going to get the guy that you want if you are overweight and not happy with yourself. Plus you need to be healthy and you don't want diabetes." My response..."Yes mother" God love her. She is my mom and my best friend and she only wants me to be happy. So mom...I'm also doing this for you. I love you! However, She is right though. I don't think if Justin Timberlake walked into a room and saw me he would be like "Wow your hot" Heck NO! He would look at me and think yeah not my type. I know there are guys out there who like the bigger girls which is awesome! I'm just not happy being a "big girl" I just don't know why I have stayed like this for such a long time.
#4. Name calling. I'm SO sick and tired of being called fat, fatty and so on. As you have read in my other post "The Devil" calls me that. Let me make this clear...I don't care what he calls me or thinks of me!!! I just want to look at him one day when I'm back down to 145 and say SUCK IT!!!! You could of had ALLLL of this, as I'm running my hands down my sides and turn around with my hot boyfriend and drive off in the sunset. LOL! That would give me so much pleasure.
#5. Embarrassment. I don't want Leyton to ever be embarrassed of his mom. I want him to be proud to say "Hey guys this is my mom" (It also wouldn't hurt be called a MILF either. ;) I would like to hope that Leyton would never be that way but you know how it is with kids these days. They are very very mean. I hope to raise Leyton to be nice to everyone even if they are different. I was very fortunate in school to be in the middle where I had friends who were popular and those who weren't. I just hope Leyton will grow up and have a variety of friends.
I have given myself a 3 month challenge to lose 30 lbs. Please pray that I can stick to it and conquer this battle. I have a tendency to not finish anything. This is also one of my new goals. If you start something finish it. I have even made myself a chart. I made one for Leyton for when he poops in the potty and also for sleeping in his big boy bed. He gets a sticker for every time that he does those good deeds. So...Why not me?? haha! I have one posted on my fridge and every time I do my exercises I get a sticker. Yay me!! I have 3 so far.
So, as you all are eating your yummy hamburgers and milkshakes, think of me eating my chicken and salad. Eat one for me all you skinny people. Because one of these days I will be joining you again.
Hugs to you all...
