Note to all of my readers:: This blog is for me and me only. If you dont like to hear the negative stuff or what happens in my life, please dont read it. There is just a lot of bad stuff that has happened to me lately and hopefully I will start posting some good stuff soon. I hope you all continue to read because this has become one of my new hobbies and a new way to let out my feelings. God bless!!
Well I have challenged myself to lose weight. All I have to say is...O GOOD LORD HELP ME!!! I hate exercising and I really hate watching what I eat. But thats the reason why I am the way I am I guess. I cant use baby fat or divorce anymore because Leyton is now 3 and my divorce will be a year next month. However, I did like those excuses.
So my first goal is to exercise everyday whether its a walk or getting on my stupid elliptical for 5 minutes. I hate that machine. Sometimes I wish it would break so I can just get rid of it. But I guess its working if you are praying every minute for the torture to stop. Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat. Leyton and I will be walking, well me pushing him in his stroller in the mornings and then at night we will go for another walk just for fun so he can walk. Tues and Thurs I'm going to take up running. I started my running today and OMG just kill me now!!! I am NOT a runner and never have been. So needless to say, I didn't last very long but I did it and now I'm sitting here still panting and coughing. I can only imagine what people saw when I ran down the street. I'm sure it was quite entertaining. I'm sure I looked like a troll with headphones and an under armor hat. LOL! O well I wont be that way for long neighbors. :)
My main goals in this is.....
#1. Make a healthier life change for myself and for Leyton. We have a habit of eating out and I don't have the money for it anymore plus its not good. However cooking for Leyton is a nightmare because the kid doesn't like anything. He only wants bologna, mac and cheese, hot dogs, or chicken nuggets. He hates hamburger and I tried to get him to eat pork chops the other night and that was a joke. Last night I made him eat 3 green beans before he could have a fruit smoothie. Keep in mind it took him 3 stinkin hours just to eat the green beans that he actually does love. I have to quit pop too. Lord knows how much I love my Pepsi so I have limited it to one a week on my off day.
#2. Image. I know you shouldn't care what people think of you but I'm not one of those people. I always worry about what people think of me. Sometimes I go broke just getting a new shirt because I hate what I have in my closet. You can only find so much cute stuff in the bigger sections. Plus you find really good deals on the clearance racks when your a size 6 or 8. Bonus...I save money!
#3. Boyfriend. OK, my mom always tells me..."Now, Allison...Men are visual. You are not going to get the guy that you want if you are overweight and not happy with yourself. Plus you need to be healthy and you don't want diabetes." My response..."Yes mother" God love her. She is my mom and my best friend and she only wants me to be happy. So mom...I'm also doing this for you. I love you! However, She is right though. I don't think if Justin Timberlake walked into a room and saw me he would be like "Wow your hot" Heck NO! He would look at me and think yeah not my type. I know there are guys out there who like the bigger girls which is awesome! I'm just not happy being a "big girl" I just don't know why I have stayed like this for such a long time.
#4. Name calling. I'm SO sick and tired of being called fat, fatty and so on. As you have read in my other post "The Devil" calls me that. Let me make this clear...I don't care what he calls me or thinks of me!!! I just want to look at him one day when I'm back down to 145 and say SUCK IT!!!! You could of had ALLLL of this, as I'm running my hands down my sides and turn around with my hot boyfriend and drive off in the sunset. LOL! That would give me so much pleasure.
#5. Embarrassment. I don't want Leyton to ever be embarrassed of his mom. I want him to be proud to say "Hey guys this is my mom" (It also wouldn't hurt be called a MILF either. ;) I would like to hope that Leyton would never be that way but you know how it is with kids these days. They are very very mean. I hope to raise Leyton to be nice to everyone even if they are different. I was very fortunate in school to be in the middle where I had friends who were popular and those who weren't. I just hope Leyton will grow up and have a variety of friends.
I have given myself a 3 month challenge to lose 30 lbs. Please pray that I can stick to it and conquer this battle. I have a tendency to not finish anything. This is also one of my new goals. If you start something finish it. I have even made myself a chart. I made one for Leyton for when he poops in the potty and also for sleeping in his big boy bed. He gets a sticker for every time that he does those good deeds. So...Why not me?? haha! I have one posted on my fridge and every time I do my exercises I get a sticker. Yay me!! I have 3 so far.
So, as you all are eating your yummy hamburgers and milkshakes, think of me eating my chicken and salad. Eat one for me all you skinny people. Because one of these days I will be joining you again.
Hugs to you all...
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Past couple of months...
Well hello all you beautiful people! I see that I have 5 awesome people following me. That makes my heart smile. Thank you for wanting to listen to me. :) So sorry I havent posted on here for a while. Its been a crazy couple of months. So here goes....
Lets start by saying....I HAVE MOVED!!! Yeehaw! I cant even describe to you how happy I am to get out of that town. Im so glad not to be around all of that drama and eviliness. It still follows me but of course I will get into that later. (Yep I got some drama for you) I can not wait until Leyton starts preschool next year and when he plays sports. I love Covington. Its such a great place to raise a child. Im so ready for our life to start and to see what the future has in store for us. The past couple of months have been pretty hard but I see a light at the end of the tunnel...hopefully! :)
I guess I should say first that I lost my job and this is one of the reasons why I got the chance to move. Honestly, I think this might have been a blessing. I truly think God heard my cries and pleas and blessed me with the chance to move with the expense of my job. Which was ok by me. Dont get me wrong I really need a job but that place kind of got old after awhile. I really really miss my Linda. She was what got me through my days and someone I could talk too. I mean what kind of boss fires you because you want to go to school. I mean... serioulsy?! That would get denied, but it really is true. My workplace was fine until he found out that I wanted to go back to school. O well whatever..Its water under the bridge.
So after that, everything seemed to come into place. My grandparents have done SO much for me in the past couple of months. They helped me find my new place and they helped me move of course with the help of my brothers. They are like oxens. They were really there when I needed them and what more could a sister ask for. I love them!! Now im living in a bigger home and Leyton loves it. He has more room to play and go for walks. I love that he can finally play outside with out worrying if people are spying on me and running back to you know who and telling them my every move.
Which brings me to my baby daddy drama...You know you have been ready for this. You cant fool me! :)
Well....About a month before I left, I got a phone call from "The Devil" saying that he needed to talk to me. I found out that my "really good friend" and him were having an affair. O yeah! This has been going on for about a year. Might I add...BEFORE my divorce. Everything that I had ever told her in confindence was told to him. I trusted this girl with EVERYTHING, thinking that she was my "friend". I felt like a fool!! I was like "Do you want to pull the knife out of my back or should I?" You know, I dont think like that. Sometimes I think that nothing and nobody could hurt me. I like my fairy tales and prince charmings. I guess you could say my bubble got popped. You know like "Wizard of Oz" where Glenda the good witch come floating down in the pretty pink bubble. Then in a twist, you see Dorothy standing there on the yellow brick road and as soon as Glenda's almost there she pulls out a saftey pin and pops that bubble and Glenda falls flat on her face. Yep..Im Glenda with a broken nose and messed up tiarra. LOL! Anyways... I truly thought this was a joke and couldnt quit laughing. Until I talked to her husband and said this was for real. In the meantime, I had of course quit talking to her and wanted nothing to do with all of them, even when they were parading around town with my son and pretending to be one happy family. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! My knife wound is slowly starting to heal and I have forgiven her for what she has done to me. I wouldn't be living like God would want me too if I didnt. Bitterness would only eat at me. But believe me...I DONT FORGET!!
My Facebook, Email, and other accounts have been hacked into, including this one. Today, when I tried to get into my blog account my password had been changed. Surprise Surprise! I went to answer my security question AND this is what my question asked me. "Whos D*** do you want?" O yeah! Thats just one of things I have to deal with. I actually started laughing because I mean really thats all you got. For someone who wants nothing to do with me or wants to call me names all the time he seems to be worried about what I am doing. He even took my picture the other day when I picked my kid up. I mean really...Who does that?? I know I would take my picture too because im famous and all but grow up. Heres what I think, He is either A) going to make some kind of awful picture and post all of the internet or B) his married girlfriend wanted to see what I looked like so he took my picutre or C) he must miss me and want to see my beautiful smiling face. Too bad it was a scowl and I had my sunglasses on haha!! Im going to say B because thats how they function. Yes, I still look the same. Yes I am still overweight and still short. Nothing has changed. I hope you feel better about yourself.
Heres a little tidbit for some of you who very well maybe going through some horrible things yourself. ALWAYS LAUGH! In the end no matter how bad it is you just have to laugh. Dont get me wrong I have cried... A LOT! But in between there I have found the funny in it all. I have been called Fat, Fatty, F***ing C***, B****, Sunday Christian and the newest one as of Sunday was Porky B****. Names hurt but rememeber Sticks and Stones! There are plenty of names and horrible things that I could say but as soon as im called something I just laugh. In the end these kind of people are miserable and awful kinds of people. They live in jealousy and evilness and I dont want me or my child around it. Just take it as a compliment because truly you are the one making their life a living hell. Do want to waste your time worrying about what they are doing or trying to hack or pretend to be other people just get into Facebook or email accounts? Heck No! You have better things to do.
Pray for your enemies...Cause the the good Lord knows I need pray for mine. :) So, like I have been doing, I have been praying and hoping one of these days he will grow up and realize what a wonderful child he has and that im not his enemy. Im still holding out that one of these days some one will come along and care for me like I should be cared for. Protect me from his cruelty and love me and my son like we should have been loved in the first place.
Well until next time. Im sure I will have another good story for you soon. Good luck in your lives and always remember that God is the answer to everything. When in doubt pray!
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Lets start by saying....I HAVE MOVED!!! Yeehaw! I cant even describe to you how happy I am to get out of that town. Im so glad not to be around all of that drama and eviliness. It still follows me but of course I will get into that later. (Yep I got some drama for you) I can not wait until Leyton starts preschool next year and when he plays sports. I love Covington. Its such a great place to raise a child. Im so ready for our life to start and to see what the future has in store for us. The past couple of months have been pretty hard but I see a light at the end of the tunnel...hopefully! :)
I guess I should say first that I lost my job and this is one of the reasons why I got the chance to move. Honestly, I think this might have been a blessing. I truly think God heard my cries and pleas and blessed me with the chance to move with the expense of my job. Which was ok by me. Dont get me wrong I really need a job but that place kind of got old after awhile. I really really miss my Linda. She was what got me through my days and someone I could talk too. I mean what kind of boss fires you because you want to go to school. I mean... serioulsy?! That would get denied, but it really is true. My workplace was fine until he found out that I wanted to go back to school. O well whatever..Its water under the bridge.
So after that, everything seemed to come into place. My grandparents have done SO much for me in the past couple of months. They helped me find my new place and they helped me move of course with the help of my brothers. They are like oxens. They were really there when I needed them and what more could a sister ask for. I love them!! Now im living in a bigger home and Leyton loves it. He has more room to play and go for walks. I love that he can finally play outside with out worrying if people are spying on me and running back to you know who and telling them my every move.
Which brings me to my baby daddy drama...You know you have been ready for this. You cant fool me! :)
Well....About a month before I left, I got a phone call from "The Devil" saying that he needed to talk to me. I found out that my "really good friend" and him were having an affair. O yeah! This has been going on for about a year. Might I add...BEFORE my divorce. Everything that I had ever told her in confindence was told to him. I trusted this girl with EVERYTHING, thinking that she was my "friend". I felt like a fool!! I was like "Do you want to pull the knife out of my back or should I?" You know, I dont think like that. Sometimes I think that nothing and nobody could hurt me. I like my fairy tales and prince charmings. I guess you could say my bubble got popped. You know like "Wizard of Oz" where Glenda the good witch come floating down in the pretty pink bubble. Then in a twist, you see Dorothy standing there on the yellow brick road and as soon as Glenda's almost there she pulls out a saftey pin and pops that bubble and Glenda falls flat on her face. Yep..Im Glenda with a broken nose and messed up tiarra. LOL! Anyways... I truly thought this was a joke and couldnt quit laughing. Until I talked to her husband and said this was for real. In the meantime, I had of course quit talking to her and wanted nothing to do with all of them, even when they were parading around town with my son and pretending to be one happy family. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! My knife wound is slowly starting to heal and I have forgiven her for what she has done to me. I wouldn't be living like God would want me too if I didnt. Bitterness would only eat at me. But believe me...I DONT FORGET!!
My Facebook, Email, and other accounts have been hacked into, including this one. Today, when I tried to get into my blog account my password had been changed. Surprise Surprise! I went to answer my security question AND this is what my question asked me. "Whos D*** do you want?" O yeah! Thats just one of things I have to deal with. I actually started laughing because I mean really thats all you got. For someone who wants nothing to do with me or wants to call me names all the time he seems to be worried about what I am doing. He even took my picture the other day when I picked my kid up. I mean really...Who does that?? I know I would take my picture too because im famous and all but grow up. Heres what I think, He is either A) going to make some kind of awful picture and post all of the internet or B) his married girlfriend wanted to see what I looked like so he took my picutre or C) he must miss me and want to see my beautiful smiling face. Too bad it was a scowl and I had my sunglasses on haha!! Im going to say B because thats how they function. Yes, I still look the same. Yes I am still overweight and still short. Nothing has changed. I hope you feel better about yourself.
Heres a little tidbit for some of you who very well maybe going through some horrible things yourself. ALWAYS LAUGH! In the end no matter how bad it is you just have to laugh. Dont get me wrong I have cried... A LOT! But in between there I have found the funny in it all. I have been called Fat, Fatty, F***ing C***, B****, Sunday Christian and the newest one as of Sunday was Porky B****. Names hurt but rememeber Sticks and Stones! There are plenty of names and horrible things that I could say but as soon as im called something I just laugh. In the end these kind of people are miserable and awful kinds of people. They live in jealousy and evilness and I dont want me or my child around it. Just take it as a compliment because truly you are the one making their life a living hell. Do want to waste your time worrying about what they are doing or trying to hack or pretend to be other people just get into Facebook or email accounts? Heck No! You have better things to do.
Pray for your enemies...Cause the the good Lord knows I need pray for mine. :) So, like I have been doing, I have been praying and hoping one of these days he will grow up and realize what a wonderful child he has and that im not his enemy. Im still holding out that one of these days some one will come along and care for me like I should be cared for. Protect me from his cruelty and love me and my son like we should have been loved in the first place.
Well until next time. Im sure I will have another good story for you soon. Good luck in your lives and always remember that God is the answer to everything. When in doubt pray!
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
My Life
Where do I begin...
I swear some days you could write my life as a soap opera. I would give all you soap opera junkies a show, let me tell you. A single mom trying to deal with a son with terrible 3's and a crazy ex husband who for some reason wants to make my life a living hell. I’m sure it would be really entertaining. Not sure who I would have play me, but it better be someone hot. Lol!
Just to give you a little behind the scenes of how my life happened to come to where it is now. I moved back to Indiana in 2005 to go to beauty school. Yeah, that lasted all of maybe 4 months. I learned real quick that wasn’t going to be the career for me. In the meantime, I was working at the IGA grocery store, when who happens to come into my life, my ex husband. He swept me of my feet with all of his sweet talk and lies. What every girl dreams of. He will now be the one known as “The Devil”, because sometimes I swear I think he is the antichrist. Anyways, we had a pretty quick "romance" and before I knew it I was in too deep. Well that’s what my pee brain thought. I just didn’t want to hear my family say, “I told you so”, or “I knew it” So unfortunately, I was stupid and stayed with him and the 5 girls he cheated on me with. O yeah…5, but by that time I had been pregnant for awhile and thought he would change.
Boy was I wrong…
We had a son. We ended up getting married a year later right before his 1st birthday. The biggest mistake of my life. I should have listened to my gut and just stayed how we were, unmarried. It would have been so much easier. O wait..I forgot to mention that he is a notorious liar. Yeah he fed me all of these lies about his life. He was in college (found that out to be a lie REAL quick), his mother was dying (She is still alive…no health problems that would kill her), he was never in trouble with the law and was the perfect student. (Umm..He was in jail for 3 months for stealing and was on house arrest when he was in like 8th grade.) and he is good at EVERYTHING! There are a million other lies, but you get the gist.
I know you are sitting there thinking…what an idiot! “Why didn’t this chick just leave him” Well, all I can say to that is, Love Is Blind. Plus remember people, I had a child. I wanted that family atmosphere. I didn’t want to go through divorce. My parents went through that and I was so dead set on not going through that again. But I guess the past has a way of repeating itself. So now, im a 29 year old mother, who works at an insurance place, selling insurance repeating my mother’s life, almost to the tee.
What have I learned so far…
Until next time…
I swear some days you could write my life as a soap opera. I would give all you soap opera junkies a show, let me tell you. A single mom trying to deal with a son with terrible 3's and a crazy ex husband who for some reason wants to make my life a living hell. I’m sure it would be really entertaining. Not sure who I would have play me, but it better be someone hot. Lol!
Just to give you a little behind the scenes of how my life happened to come to where it is now. I moved back to Indiana in 2005 to go to beauty school. Yeah, that lasted all of maybe 4 months. I learned real quick that wasn’t going to be the career for me. In the meantime, I was working at the IGA grocery store, when who happens to come into my life, my ex husband. He swept me of my feet with all of his sweet talk and lies. What every girl dreams of. He will now be the one known as “The Devil”, because sometimes I swear I think he is the antichrist. Anyways, we had a pretty quick "romance" and before I knew it I was in too deep. Well that’s what my pee brain thought. I just didn’t want to hear my family say, “I told you so”, or “I knew it” So unfortunately, I was stupid and stayed with him and the 5 girls he cheated on me with. O yeah…5, but by that time I had been pregnant for awhile and thought he would change.
Boy was I wrong…
We had a son. We ended up getting married a year later right before his 1st birthday. The biggest mistake of my life. I should have listened to my gut and just stayed how we were, unmarried. It would have been so much easier. O wait..I forgot to mention that he is a notorious liar. Yeah he fed me all of these lies about his life. He was in college (found that out to be a lie REAL quick), his mother was dying (She is still alive…no health problems that would kill her), he was never in trouble with the law and was the perfect student. (Umm..He was in jail for 3 months for stealing and was on house arrest when he was in like 8th grade.) and he is good at EVERYTHING! There are a million other lies, but you get the gist.
I know you are sitting there thinking…what an idiot! “Why didn’t this chick just leave him” Well, all I can say to that is, Love Is Blind. Plus remember people, I had a child. I wanted that family atmosphere. I didn’t want to go through divorce. My parents went through that and I was so dead set on not going through that again. But I guess the past has a way of repeating itself. So now, im a 29 year old mother, who works at an insurance place, selling insurance repeating my mother’s life, almost to the tee.
What have I learned so far…
1. God is the key to EVERYTHING!
2. You can’t fix a marriage when it was broken before the vows.
3. People lie all the time and you have to chose whether or not they are telling the truth. Most of the time they are not.
4. I need an education, because I can only rely on myself.
5. No matter what I’m a good mother and nobody can tell me otherwise.
6. Being a parent is the hardest job in the entire world, especially when you do it by yourself.
7. My mother is my best friend and without her I don’t know I have gotten through half the stuff in my life.
8. Make sure you absolutely love the person you are with and once they don’t meet your criteria, leave his butt.
9. Be very picky now a days
10. I WILL have someone that will treat me good and treat my child like a son one of these days. I just have to be patient
Until next time…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)